I will pay $2000 to the person that connects me with a romantic partner

Author: Mati Roy | Created: 2021-12-10 | Updated: 2021-12-11

My dating profile

Tl;dr: Read only what’s in bold

Bounty

Bounty: 2,000 USD for someone I end up having a child with (ie. being a legal parent with them; a sperm donation wouldn’t count) that you’ve introduced me to and who wasn’t already a prospect. If someone reached out to me as a result of you sharing my profile on social media, that counts too.

• Introductions can be done through any channel, such as Facebook or email (mathieu.roy.37@gmail.com).
• I can stop taking new applicants for this bounty at any time (but, obviously, not retroactively).
• The money is to incentivize you to take the time to read my profile and recommend me to friends, and to generally reward superconnectors which I think tend to be undervalued. The money is just a bonus on top of the gratitude^_^

General

No need to read (all) my profile to reach out to me.

While I’m open to other types of relationships, this profile is written with the goal of finding someone to raise children with. I'm 31 years old (born in October 1990), and generally prefer closer to my age, but +/- 13 years is fine.

When I first started writing this, it turned out I first wrote My current lifeplan. I think it’s very relevant to this, but I’ll be including relevant information directly here.

Looks

A lot of dating profiles start with pictures, so I suppose that’s important for most people, so here are some pictures: https://photos.app.goo.gl/kLW4zMfwi7otDN4T7.

I measure 188 cm (6'2). I just weighted myself, and I was at 93.6 kg (206 lbs).

I'm mostly attracted towards personalities. My only physical preference worth mentionning is that I’m attracted to people that look healthy. I generally prefer no (or little or artistic) makeup, but I don’t really mind.

On getting to know each other

We can, but don't have to "go on dates". You can just reach out to me because I seem interesting, and not force anything specific.

I'm also into live-in culture: I think it's an efficient way to get to know someone to live with them very early on for a pre-determined amount of time (with the option to bail out at any point of course, and none of the usual expectations most people might have about living together) – this is not at all needed if you're not into that; it's just an option.

I invite you to be yourself. I encourage to not avoid doing anything you want to do in relation with me just "because it's weird".

Location

I have a rather strong preference to work towards a US citizenship (which would require living in the US unless I marry a US-American, in which case it wouldn’t be necessary).

I would prefer to live in Central or North America longterm, but short-term I'm more flexible.

I'm totally okay with meeting remotely. I can also easily travel around – so if I travel to your city and it doesn't seem like a good match after our first meeting / date, that's totally fine.

Relationship structure, romance, and sex

Summary: Flexible

I’m not promiscuous. I’ve had close friends with whom I like to cuddle. I care about safe sex a lot. I’m panromantic, although I experience it differently with males and females. I’m more sexually attracted towards females in general. I tend to like to escalate slowly.

I would prefer to raise children with someone I’m romantically and sexually attracted too, but I’m also open to raising children with a platonic friend. I would like to live with that person (except possibly if they wanted to have more than 50% of the responsibility).

I’m open to a few possible structures.

• I’m open to monogamy.
• I’m open to a close triad (in which case some of the descriptions above would need to be adjusted).
• I’m open to having some openness that’s well defined.
• I’m open to complete openness, but if we continue to have sex I would like it to be safe.

While here I’m looking for 1-2 people to share parenting responsibility equally, I’m also open to having less responsibility (although I imagine few people would want that).

Children

Genetic code

I’m open to using our own genetic code to create our children. I’m fertile (I’ve done a spermogram and got a person pregnant through a sperm donation).

I’m also open to using sperm and/or egg donation from people that have the following traits (to be discussed to integrate your own preferences in this model) to an extent we find more satisfactory than our own (and/or if you’re not fertile):

• Desire to live
• Rational
• Executive capabilities
• Prosocial
• Intelligent
• Hard working
• Mentally healthy
• Longtermist
• Similar communication style

I’ve described some of those traits in more detail in the section “Personality I’m interested in”.

I’m also open to using surrogate mothers.

I don’t want to adopt.

Number

I want at least 2 children; my desire for number of children scales almost linearly with wealth, but I’m flexible.

Upbringing

I want to have a parenting approach that is time-efficient. As a result:

• I have started reading about strategies such as how to sleep train babies
• I would like to have an au pair / nanny / live-in maid, and potentially tutors
• I intend to have my/our children be as autonomous as realistic
• I don’t intend to drive my/our children to a large amount of activities
• I still intend to use my time to mentor my/our children in ways that can’t easily be delegated
• I also obviously will still maintain a relationship with my/our children of course

I expect my partner to do half of the work related to taking care of our children (I mean, it could also be more, but I would generally assume they would expect me to do half of the work as well).

I don’t have a strong preference between homeschooling them or not, but I think it makes sense to give them the option if they seem autonomous and we have the capacity to support that (which seems likely; at least one of us would work remotely or we would have an au pair or employee at home).

Just like I record my life, I have a strong preference to record our children at least until they can make their own decision (because I think this might be important for identity preservation, as well as useful for other reasons). There’s room for some negotiation about my lifelogging, but ultimately I want to record a supermajority of my life.

I would like our children to learn English as a first language. I might speak to them in French so they also know French.

I would like to sign up our children for cryonics.

While I eat an ostrovegan diet, I don’t have much of a preference for what you or our children eat, at least until they can make their own choices.

Wealth

Wealth mixing

I expect my partner and I to maintain separate finances, but split joint expenses equally, notably for our children.

I would like a partner that is willing to get additional help (ie. au pair / nanny / live-in maid) as I value my time a lot.

I would like a partner that is financially capable of supporting half of children-related expenses.

Ideally, I would like someone that is otherwise frugal (but I’m very frugal, so I’m willing to compromise on this to some extent — such as by living in a bigger place than I otherwise would, but it’s still important for me to be saving a substantial fraction of my income because of the power of compounding investments).

I’m open to the possibility that we pay each other for services — this could be useful if one person makes significantly more money than another, in which case it would make more sense for the wealthier person to contribute more money and the poorer person to contribute more time (but it doesn’t have to be that way).

My wealth

You can try to guess my wealth from my LinkedIn profile and spendings (to estimate saving rates) and goals, although that still leaves some undetermined variables. For a more precise value, you can ask me directly; however, you might not want to ask me directly (/ not want me to know that you asked). If you read this whole profile, and we seem like otherwise a potentially good match, and you want to know more about my wealth without asking me, you can ask my friend Haydn Thomas-Rose who will let you know and won’t share your identity with me. Haydn will ask you a few questions before telling you just to make sure we’re actually potentially a good match, and you’re not just being very curious^_^

Personality I’m interested in

Which also corresponds to my personality.

Main traits

Honest. Don’t meta-lie to me — ie. lie about your lying policy. I would prefer someone that would never say literal false information with the intent to deceive to a partner / me. I’m extremely honest.

Values living. I will connect fundamentally more with someone that values living. I would like someone for whom the best possible life is of infinite length — literally never ending, not just a very very large number or an “infinite life” from which they would eventually bail out. It’s okay if they would prefer death over some imperfect infinite lives, but not over the best possible one. No specific beliefs about the feasibility of this needed. I would also prefer someone that is not at risk of suicide (medical aid in dying doesn’t count).

Rational. Not the naïve Spock version. But someone that is self reflective, not attached to their beliefs, passes cognitive reflections tests, dislikes self-deception, and prioritizes accuracy over political correctness (when communicating with me).

High executive capabilities. I would like someone that at least answers their emails rapidly, doesn't forget their meetings, and generally has basic functional systems to operate in the world (such as to keep their kitchen and work office operational).

Similar communication style. I lean ask/tell culture. I’m rather good at guess culture, and like using it sometimes, but it’s important to me that my partner is able to make their needs known explicitly if I fail at reading them, and be okay with me doing the same. I want someone that is open to receiving feedback — I personally love feedback. I strongly dislike “deny culture” — where someone says something that I need to deny, instead of asking me. I like someone that has a prior good intentions, and won’t easily assume malicious intent, especially after a lot of trust has been built.

Inspiring. I’m influenced by my social environment, and I want to work hard and am ambitious. So I’m more inspired when living with hard working and/or ambitious and/or successful people. (Hardworking is also a valuable trait for taking care of our mutual responsibilities.)

Secondary traits

Those traits are less important, but I also value them.

Mentally healthy. Self explanatory. Low addictions would also be nice.

Longtermist. I value making decisions mostly in terms of their expected longterm consequences.

Intelligent. Self explanatory.

Adventurous. I like someone that says yes to challenges. Finds it fun to sleep naked in a cold forest. Will do invisible improv and DIY impractical jokers. Etc.

Health-conscious. I’d rather someone that doesn’t smoke cigarettes. I would prefer someone (at least) leaning towards a healthy diet.

Tertiary traits

I think I also like people that are transparent, kind, empathic, caring, prosocial, and able to regulate their anger.

Information about me

Here is other information I anticipate people might want to have about me (those are not things I’m necessarily looking for in others).

I’ve had some reviews on LinkedIn which I think are also relevant here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matiroy. My LinkedIn profile also has information about my career, obviously.

Habits:

• I eat healthily.
• My sleep schedule is flexible, and I can likely generally sync it to yours if you have a preference (I’ve lived with a friend for 5 months, about 4 of which were synced).
• I tend to do exercise when I have someone with whom to do exercise. But my belief in the health benefits of exercise is not very strong.
• I don’t drink alcohol. I don’t smoke. I don’t take any drugs.

Knowledge:

• I’ve read a lot about topics related to moral philosophy, effective altruism, LessWrong, and transhumanism.
• I have good intuitions around economics.

Skills:

• I’m able to do most types of housework and (figure out) house repairs, but I generally prefer to outsource it.
• I’m good at understanding social interactions / situations in details (although I’ll still miss some stuff sometimes)
• I’m good at preventing and resolving conflicts
• I’m good at thinking from first principles

Other:

I’ve had an OkCupid account for a very long time, and I’ve answered many questions on it — a bunch are probably not up-to-date, but you can check them out: https://www.okcupid.com/profile/1024227943072844142/.

You can also easily stalk me; I have a rather big digital footprint. I notably often post on Facebook.

Although I invite you to make an intentional decision about how deeply you want to know me before meeting me.

You can answer this survey to let me know other information you would like me to include or think I should include in this profile, or for any feedback on it: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1Y8OLa1vYSVIpnj13G-e2R8IogkNmRveZDX4dmmsIfy4/

For other ways to communicate with me, check out: https://matiroy.com/contact.html/

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