No, You Are Not ‘Running Late’, You Are Rude and Selfish (2011)

I have kept this tab open on my iPad for months, considering the right response to this post.

As a serial late person, I will say for the record that I completely agree that it is rude and inconsiderate for a person such as myself to waste other people’s time. You are right, no question about it.

I would like to say that not all of us who suffer from serial lateness are doing it because we don’t care – ie showing up late because we had to make a pit stop at Starbucks, or take an extra phone call with a friend. Maybe it is because we have trouble prioritizing. Maybe it is because we are constantly running around in crisis mode. Maybe it is because we are trying to care too much about people that are expecting too much from us, because they don’t want to burn their own time in getting their own tasks done, and choose to delegate it to those that are willing to help.

The bottom line is that there is no excuse for serial lateness. But at least in my case and some others I know…we are fully aware of this. We don’t walk around all day not caring about what time we show up. The pressure is there, we just don’t always know how to alleviate it. I say here that adding a layer of people telling us that we are always late, we are being rude and inconsiderate, we are disorganized – does not help.

It would be much more helpful if people such as yourselves, who are timely and organized as you purport, guided others to the sunlight and gave advice and resources to those who could use it the most. A scathing blog post is good, but I was certainly not motivated to look through the rest of your site. I think the only ones that did are those that are already where you are. So…is that helping anyone?

I know one thing from experience: Those that are graceful in their forgiveness of others with such character flaws are exponentially more likely to be forgiven for their own flaws.

“Rude and inconsiderate” takes many forms. I just read a blog post about a 17 year old kid that was bullied by a customer because she didn’t get her order fast enough. Apparently she felt that her time was so precious that she had to berate the employee for a power outage that had nothing to do with the kid.

When one is dealing with exponentially larger projects and resources, I can also imagine the time constraints come into play. Certainly it is good to factor such things in while hiring, promoting and firing. I wonder if the same would apply to situations where one is not at work. It sounds to me like the friends that you choose expect the same of you, and you comply. Thus there is a symbiosis in place. If you show up late a few times, will you be out of the group? Or maybe just sent back to this blog post?

How about family? I gather that the same pressure to be 100% on time with work and social situations is also imposed within the household. Does that work for everyone?

I commend you for rising to the echelons of timeliness. Please continue to let us know what it is like from your perspective. Perhaps one day everyone in the world will be more organized with their time.

I will leave off with this story, and then finally close the tab of this page I have left open. I hope you consider it to be useful, if you take the time to read it.

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A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

“Daddy, may I ask you a question?”

“Yeah sure, what is it?” replied the man

“Daddy, how much do you make an hour?”

“That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?” the man asked angrily.

“I just want to know. Please tell me…how much do you make an hour?”

“If you must know, I make $50 an hour.”

“Oh,” the little boy replied, with his head down.

“Daddy, may I please borrow $25?”

The father was furious. “If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. I don’t work hard everyday to put up with such selfishness.”

The little boy quietly went to his room and closed the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. “How dare he ask such questions only to get some money”, he thought to himself.

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:

“Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really doesn’t ask for money very often”. The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.

“Are you asleep, son?” He asked.

“No daddy, I’m awake”, replied the boy.

“I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier” said the man.

“It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $25 you asked for.”

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. “Oh, thank you daddy!” he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

“Why do you want more money if you already have some?” the father grumbled.

“Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,” the little boy replied.

“Daddy, I have $50 now…can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.”

The father was devastated. As he eyes welled up with tears, he put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness and scheduled dinner for the next evening.

-Author Unknown

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